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In 1990 I
decided it was time to turn my life around. I quit a job that was
killing my spirit, I got hit in the head with a soft ball and hurt my
arm, I spent a year searching for a way to heal my arm and I began to
focus on what the Universe wanted for me - not from me - but for me.
One of the
things I did was to enroll in The School for Enlightenment and Healing in San Diego. I needed to find a
way into myself, into my heart, into my own spirit. I was lost and I
knew it and I needed teachers to guide me into me. I subsequently
went to other schools and programs but it was in taking that first step
to myself that truly made the difference.
At first I felt
selfish spending so much time finding me but the longer I concentrated
on what I needed for my spirit, the more I knew it was not selfish but
selfless. In order to truly give back to the world I needed to
give to myself that which I had lost along the way. I needed to
change my story from that of victimhood to one of champion - champion
for those who also wished to make a shift.
We all need a
teacher, a guide, a way inside of ourselves to realize the gift of who
we are and, in so doing, the gifts of those around us. We can all make
a difference in this world and it starts with the desire to shift to
your gift. That's what we do at Free Spirit School, that is our mission
and that is our passion. We invite you to walk with us on a path
to wholeness.
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This year started in a way that gave me plenty of time for
quiet and reflection and with the added gift of all this occurring in
one of my favorite places. So here I am in the warm (yes warm)
with plenty of time to be out in the beauty of the foothills of Arizona
walking, riding my bike, swimming or just being. Being aware of just
being and this deep place of gratitude. So many times in a day
just feeling the joy and sending thanks for the being.
One day while walking I thought back to over 20 years ago when
I came here for the first time. All I could feel then was a
grasping at more, more, more....
How different it felt to be in this feeling of joy and
being grateful for the moment. I realized in the next moment,
once again, how lucky I am to have had the teachers/mentors in my life
who have helped me realize this way of being.
The next thoughts that flowed in had me seeing the
resistance I often felt to the teaching/learning coming into my
life. "I am not going to take that class, work with that
teacher because......time, money, work, family." You name it
I could find a reason to not go!
One day one of the natural horse people I was studying
with said to me: "You know the number one reason that people give
for quitting their training (learning) is finances. Then comes I
don't have enough time, followed by my family, friends and all the
rest. What really happens is they get afraid of the change they are
going through and start getting afraid of what they will have to do
about seeing all the new ways they want to be. They get digging their
feet in and start imagining all they will be doing is work, work and
more work. They get all wound up around that and stop seeing the
fun they are having. I think the real reason people quit is they stop
having fun!" He went on to say that in his many years of
observation he noticed that change was stressful and most people got
stuck in that fear place and started losing their sense of humor.
They got more and more focused on their fear and pretty soon they had
committed to not moving instead of growing and learning.
Again imagine the flow of my thinking shifting again, this
time my awareness moving towards my work at Free Spirit School. I
embrace the opportunity to work with Diane as we both are committed to
not take ourselves too seriously and to make the classroom extremely
safe and still have fun! Powerful work taken seriously also requires an
equal balance of being able to say "How Interesting" and find
the joy and humor in the dance of the lessons. One of the greatest
places of joy for me is sharing this work with others. I also
realized a long time ago what I do is fun and if it stops being fun
then it's time for a change!
If you are looking at all the reasons you can't then maybe
it's a time to ask yourself what are you really afraid of? Joining a safe and healthy learning environment
is a great way to take the next step towards feeling joy and being in a
place of amazing gratitude!
By the way, did I mention we have a great selection of
classes starting up at FSS?
Hope to see you there! Rose
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